DAILY WIRE
The following is the opening satirical monologue from “The Andrew Klavan Show.“
As you know, the State of the Union was delivered this week by the president of the United States, a doddering old wreck sinking into oblivion through a fog of lies and self-delusion, which by some strange coincidence is also the state of the union.
If you missed the speech because you were doing something more enjoyable like getting a colonoscopy or repeatedly sticking a pin under your toenail, we here at the Daily Wire are happy to be able to present you with this transcript which I will read aloud as clearly as I can, so you’ll have to pretend I’m incomprehensible to get the full sense of the original experience.
President Doddering said, [quote] “Good evening, my fellow mytzaplitzakinium. I come before whoever you are today in this historic house or possibly somewhere else to say words written on this glass thing in front of me whatever it is. They didn’t have those when I was a boy growing…
