DEAR CAROLINE: I have been married for many years to a man who shows no love towards me

Q I have been married for many years to a man who shows no love or consideration towards me whatsoever. Initially we were happy, although he has always been possessive. He hated me talking to other men, or them talking to me, and made sure that I cut off contact with most of my friends. 

Things got worse when he came back from Iraq (he was in the RAF) almost 20 years ago. He was angry all the time and, to compound our problems, shortly after his return, our daughter was born with life-threatening health issues, which have required care ever since. I didn’t work until she was eight, while he did nothing to help. We moved to Australia to bring her up but he has never settled. 

And while he has always provided for us, he has done so grudgingly. Whatever I do…