Dark side of dating apps: How criminals lure victims using attractive online profiles
PUNCH
In this feature, VICTOR AYENI examines how deceptive individuals posing as attractive men and women on various online dating platforms have become serious threats to unsuspecting users, leading to cases of sexual exploitation, theft, and even murder
The memory of the sordid incident that befell Gbemisola Oworu in September 2019 clung to her mind like a shadow—always present and impossible to ignore.
At 27, Oworu was an undergraduate at a tertiary institution in Ogun State when her roommate introduced her to a popular dating app. Not deeply familiar with the dynamics of online dating, she was encouraged by her friend to use the app to connect with attractive male acquaintances beyond her academic environment.
“The way she explained it to me, she said I was too boring, too unexposed, and too focused on my studies,” Oworu told Sunday PUNCH.
“She already had a boyfriend, and I felt like I was missing out. That was when she introduced me to this online dating platform.”
Initially, Oworu was sceptical about meeting a total stranger and sharing personal details with him. However, her reservations softened as she began chatting with a 25-year-old man on the site.
Her virtual date, simply known as Tobi, resided in Lagos and claimed to be an employed graduate living with his uncle.
“From the first chat, Tobi was quite an interesting person. He told me he was still staying with his uncle in Lagos. We had long chats, even on video, and he sounded like a decent guy.”
“There were days he would even video-call me while on his way to church, so I naturally assumed he was a spiritual person. I didn’t know it was all an act to fool me,” Oworu recalled, her voice tinged with regret.
After two months of online interaction, Tobi invited Oworu to travel from Ibadan, Oyo State, to meet him in Lagos. She explained, “Something kept telling me ‘no,’ but I didn’t listen. Tobi said his uncle and his wife would be out of town that weekend, leaving him with their kids. I thought I’d be safe.”
Feeling reassured, Oworu decided to make the trip on September 6, a Friday. “When I saw Tobi in person for the first time, I was really excited. He lived in one of the estates in Lekki. We went to an eatery that afternoon, had a good time, and hung out with his friends. Everything seemed perfect.”
However, Oworu grew uncomfortable when Tobi’s friends followed them to his uncle’s house, and there were no children as Tobi had mentioned. “It was a short-let apartment, and his friends were smoking, drinking, and partying in the sitting room. Tobi took me to what I thought was his room and began touching me. I wasn’t comfortable, especially with people in the next room, so I asked him to wait until his friends left.”
Tobi’s demeanor changed abruptly. “He suddenly looked mean and insisted we do it right there, so I reluctantly went along. Afterward, he just left the room. That night, three of his other friends came in, one after the other, and took advantage of me. That’s when I realised it was a setup; I was the only girl there. The next morning, Tobi handed me some money, and I left,” Oworu recounted.
Though she kept her ordeal to herself for about two weeks, Oworu became withdrawn, lost her appetite, and struggled with insomnia. Eventually, she confided in a nurse, who helped her get medical assistance and recover.
Tragedy after meeting a virtual date
When 23-year-old Precious Yusuf left her home in Asaba, Delta State, on October 22 to meet a male friend from a dating website called iHappy, she had no inkling that it would be her last outing.
On that day, the lady told a nearby friend that she was going to meet an online acquaintance.
The next morning, October 23, at around 7:30 am, Yusuf reportedly called her friend to say she was heading home.
Tragically, that was the last time anyone heard from her. On Thursday, her lifeless body was discovered along DLA Road in Asaba.
Police, upon reaching the scene, identified her body and launched a preliminary investigation.
The Police Public Relations Officer, Bright Edafe, confirmed that an investigation is ongoing, and Yusuf’s body has been sent for an autopsy. Edafe advised young women to be cautious when meeting online friends and noted that the state’s Commissioner of Police, Olufemi Abaniwonda, also urged young women to exercise vigilance when interacting with acquaintances from dating websites and social media platforms.
Virtual territories
Online dating platforms in Nigeria are vibrant spaces offering a diverse array of romantic options. While some apps cater to casual hookups, others are designed to connect users looking for serious relationships. Many of these platforms are free, requiring only a smartphone app download, while some charge fees—either weekly, monthly, or annually—for special features.
Globally, over 300 million people are estimated to use dating apps, with around 20 million paying for premium features.
In 2023, Tinder topped the list as the most downloaded dating app, followed by Bumble, which launched in 2014 and includes unique networking features.
When our correspondent downloaded Tinder, he observed that users swipe right to like and left to pass. If both parties swipe right, they’re matched and can chat.
Notably, Tinder prevents matches from sending voice or video recordings, so users often exchange phone numbers to continue on messaging apps. On Bumble, swiping operates similarly, but only women can initiate conversations in heterosexual matches.
Other popular dating apps in Nigeria include Badoo, OkCupid, Zoosk, eHarmony, Friendite, Naija Connexion, SweetMeet, and Bingdum. Research by Pew shows that only about 10 per cent of online dating interactions lead to committed relationships or marriages.
Deception and infection
Several dating app users shared a mix of positive and negative experiences with Sunday PUNCH.
Foluke Waheed, an entrepreneur, has generally positive encounters on Tinder and Bumble, relying on gut instincts to steer clear of potential risks.
However, Maxwell Orji, a 32-year-old banker, was less fortunate. In 2021, he met a woman on Tinder who initially seemed to match his taste…
