THE SUN
Happily ever after is what most girls set their eyes and hearts on. Right from when we know that you are still a girl without the frilly dresses and pink bows and ribbons, we begin the plan. Yeah, we know how to be coy, bat our eyelids and try not to swoon and faint at the feet our first crush. The heart-melting smile comes naturally. We are born sweet, all of us girls. It is the men who ruin us. Or why do you think pretty little things who once curtsied politely in pink become hard-faced big girls in black or worse still, red? Once you see a once nice girl become the reserved and cold bitch even her mum is afraid of, know that a man has done a number on her. The beauty of this piece is there is hardly a man reading this who can swear with a cutlass, bible or Koran that he did not turn a pretty pink into a cold black. Did I hear one of them say it is what is it is? Hmmm, good, just know that if you ruined somebody’s daughter’s pink, your daughter may be just the next on the queue. It is the way of the world. The law of harvest won’t be suspended for anybody.
As I was saying, most girls start out hoping for Mr. Right. For many, he arrives just in time. For most he arrives late and then there are those for who Mr. Right simply does not arrive. The last group leaves one with a lot of questions. Is it that God did not create partners for some women or they did not recognize and grab him when he showed up? There are also those whose happily-ever-after dance stops midway. The dance simply just doesn’t last. One year, everything is lovey-dovey and the next, you hear incredible stories of irreconcilable differences.
There are many reasons, and stories abound on why women miss out on marriage. All kinds of reasons and stories, including very conk spiritual ones. Yes, the ones about spirit husbands and 37-year-old- virgins who have never found men who find them physically attractive even though they are beautiful. Things happen, my people. It does not matter whether you believe these stories or not, those who wear the shoes feel the pinch and won’t agree to your simple ‘oyinbo’ interpretations of why some women never achieve their happily-ever-after. But what is a woman supposed to do when Mr. Right doesn’t show up? Should she just throw up her hands and surrender to a life of misery and loneliness? Does not having a husband mean that a woman should just curl up and die? Can she have children on her own, outside wedlock, as they say? Or should she continue to wait because the society will crucify her for daring to take her destiny in her hands?
Let me break it down in a way that all those who are preparing to get on their high horses and look down on those who are not as lucky as they are, will understand. Madam, if your successful, beautiful 42-year-old daughter is still single but you find out she’s pregnant, will you jump for joy or drag her off to the clinic for abortion to save your family name? Ah, you thought things like that happen to other people? Well, all mothers pray for their girls to meet Prince Charming early but does it always happen the way we script it? Who can really script life?
