BY CHUKWUNETA OBY
“Social Media will bring your legs outside” was my reaction to the hullabaloo that greeted an actress’ marriage recently, after a blog claimed that their union is her groom’s fourth attempt at marriage.
Don’t be surprised that, that information was leaked by someone the couple considered a friend. It’s not in all cases that a bitter ex-partner is responsible for our hurt or embarrassment.
There’s always someone who will anonymously give the world “your gist”.
How much truth or twistedness such contains often depends on the tale bearer’s mood or the level of ‘poto-poto’ (mud) they want to rub on that smiling face.
When the actress had her fancy engagement and her Oga’s face was hidden, I knew there was more to her marital reality. A lot of the times that people hide the identity of their spouse, it’s often for fear of the public hearing or knowing more than they dare to let out.
Anyway, here are a few realities that I feel we should keep in mind about serial marriage and divorce.
Even if this is the man’s fourth marriage (as claimed by the blog), everyone deserves another chance with love, if they meet someone who speaks to their soul.
Being a serial divorcee does not mean that someone can’t meet a partner they can end up with and the experience will be positively different. People heal us too, especially with their energy.
Let us hope the groom has finally met the woman, whose love will make him realise why it never worked out with anyone else.
Sometimes, ‘divorce after divorce’ does not mean that someone is a bad person. It’s often a sign that they were not yet in a good (emotional) place at the time they made certain marital choices.
Being a serial divorcee is a huge minus…as far as social perception and research are concerned. Countless studies have given serial divorces a thumbs-down when it comes to the sustainability of marriage.
People may argue that the person (who has been serially divorced) is coming into the marriage with a lot of experience. Yet, studies show that first marriage is the hardest to walk away from but if that ever happens, quitting can happen again and again and again.
When it’s more than a second marital journey, I am worried!
In most cases, what the person going into a third or fourth marriage needs is NOT marriage (at least NOT right away) but a journey within…to know what it is their pattern (marry and quit) is telling them about WHO they are.
Some people who are busy looking for a husband or wife will be more fulfilled in non-marital relationships.
After a failed marriage and you venture into a second one, the first shock that will hit you is that nobody is always better than the other. People are just different.
