The Sun
By Kate Halim
Sex between a couple can be a beautiful experience if the parties involved are in sync with each other’s bodies and movements. But it can also be an unpleasant experience if one party is doing something that the other person finds unpleasant.
When it comes to sex, everyone has their likes and dislikes. While some people might prefer prolonged foreplay before they actually make love, others might just want to get into the act and wrap it up quickly.
For women though, foreplay is part of sex. Saturday Sun spoke to some ladies and most of them noted that they don’t like it when men overlook foreplay and jump right into the act of sex.
According to some of these ladies, sex without foreplay is not fun and the way some men handle their bodies leave them in pain rather than pleasure. They shared some of the things men do during sex which turn them off.
Twenty-four-year-old Anita Agbai is an undergraduate who doesn’t like when her boyfriend tries to recreate sex positions that he saw on some online porn site. She said that one day, she almost broke her neck while he was trying to position her for a new sex style he watched.
Agbai said: “At the end of the day, I was almost standing on my head and my neck hurt so much. I just told him to leave me alone. He was still trying to convince me to give it a try but I told him that I wanted to enjoy sex with him and not die while doing that.”
Susan Okolie said she loves to have a good time with her boyfriend of two years, but stated that she doesn’t like the way he puts his fingers everywhere at once during sex. She added that whenever he does that, it looks as if he’s playing some kind of musical instrument and it makes her lose concentration.
Okolie stated that one day, she had to hold his hands and beg him to touch one place at a time, instead of putting his fingers in and out of different parts of her body at the same time. Even though it made him angry that she wasn’t thrilled with his skills, she said she was glad she let him know that she didn’t like that aspect of love making.
Gift Okey is engaged to be married next year but she is seriously considering changing her mind. Reason? She said her husband-to-be doesn’t believe in foreplay. She said he believes that women shouldn’t enjoy sex like men.
According to Okey, her businessman fiance goes straight to sex without caring if she’s ready for him or not. Sometimes, she said, she ends up bruised down there but he doesn’t care. He is only concerned about his own pleasure and reaching orgasm, she stated.
“He also thinks it’s sexy to spank me so hard during the act that I just want to slap him in the face in retaliation. I have begged him to stop spanking me so hard but he said he knows I love it but I am just pretending so he won’t call me a bad girl,” Okey added.
Okey told Saturday Sun that she doesn’t like aggressive sex. She said she loves to be touched gently and sweetly and not treated as a porn star, but regretted that her man wouldn’t stop watching porn. She added that if he doesn’t change his ways, she would end their engagement and move on with her life.
Maria Akpan is pleading with Nigerian men to stop being aggressive with their hands during foreplay. She noted that she ended up with internal bleeding at one time after having sex with a guy she met last year.
Akpan stated that the guy was so aggressive that she asked if she was the cause of his life’s problems. She added that he kept biting her nipples and pulling her breasts as if he was pulling ropes at a Gulder Ultimate Search session.
Akpan said: “Nipples are meant to be sucked and not chewed like meat. It is more pleasurable when sucked with the areola. Guys should stop being in a hurry and learn the art of pleasing their women in bed.”
According to Akpan, she enjoys nipple play as part of the overall foreplay but sometimes, men don’t know when to stop. She said she hated it when a man treats her nipples like popsicles and suck them as if they are breastfeeding.
“Doing this is not sexy for me. Some other women may like it or not see anything wrong with it but I don’t find it pleasurable. During sex, a man shouldn’t act as if he’s literally trying to milk me. It puts me off and makes me lose interest in going forward,’ Akpan added.
Eunice Chukwuma won’t forget in a hurry the way her ex boyfriend pulled her hair so hard during sex that she screamed and started crying. She revealed that the young man whom she met during her youth service in Ondo State two years ago almost dispatched her to the great beyond because he loved violent sex.
Recounting the many times he was violent with her, Chukwuma told Saturday Sun that the first time they rolled in the hay four months after they met, he spanked her behind so much that she winced in pain anytime she wanted to sit down.
Chukwuma added that the second time they got intimate, he wanted to ejaculate in her face but she refused and he started complaining about how she’s not like other girls who are willing to do anything to make him happy. She said she firmly told him no and dressed up and went home.
“He started threatening me with a break up and I told him to go ahead. When he saw that I didn’t beg or cry for him to remain my boyfriend, he begged me to forgive him and give him one more chance,” Chukwuma revealed.
According to her, she broke up with him after they met again and during sex, he pulled her braids so hard that she started crying. She said that he was so aggressive that he didn’t even make her orgasm for all the times they made love.
Prisca Idoko said she doesn’t like it when a man doesn’t ask her directly about what she wants in bed. She said no two women want the same exact thing all the time during sex and men should stop lumping all women together when it comes to their tastes, needs and pleasures when having sex.
Idoko revealed that another thing that men do during sex which puts her off is overlooking foreplay and diving into her body as if she is an ocean that never runs dry. She said she dislikes it when a man doesn’t take time to engage in foreplay and get her ready for the main act.
“For me, it’s important to be able to talk to your partner about your sex likes and dislikes and have them listen to yours and adjust accordingly. If you don’t like foreplay, don’t come close to me because it means you are a selfish man,” Idoko stated.
Thirty-year-old Ijeoma Ogbonna said that it is fun and sexy to take instructions from your partner in bed but she said she finds it unappealing when a man takes it too far and ends up being overly commanding. She said she doesn’t like it because it can spell the difference between taking the reins and being controlling.
According to Ogbonna, she also doesn’t like men who use saliva as lubricant. She said she finds it irritating and unhygienic. She added that there is a reason lubricants exist and men should invest in it to give their women maximum sexual pleasure.
This story first appeared in The Sun
