FATTEH HAMID, who notes that sexual abuse of the boy child is underreported, chronicles the experiences of men subjected to the nasty act while growing up
A student in a university in the South-West, Olanrewaju Tobiloba was 16 years old when he was defiled by two female neighbours who were then students of a tertiary institution in Ogun State. He said he was in Senior Secondary School 3 at the time. Tobiloba told Saturday PUNCH that he was defiled thrice and couldn’t speak out despite how terrible the situation was.
He said, “We lived in a ‘face-me-I-face-you’ apartment at the time. I just returned from school and it was a common thing for me and our neighbours to play together. Sometimes, they came over to our apartment and we went to theirs.
“That day, I went to their room and we were playing. At one point, I lay on their bed and one of them lay beside me. Suddenly, one of them started rubbing my chest and jumped on me. The one who was sexually abusing me was in her 30s at the time while the other one was 28.
“I was naïve to think that it was still our regular playful act not knowing that they had other plans for me. While trying to struggle and get her to disembark from the bed, the other sister came and started rubbing my legs. She removed my trousers and fondled with my manhood.’’
Tobiloba further said he tried to struggle his way out of their grip but the two sisters overpowered him.
He added, “They told me that they were playing with me and offered me a malt drink and poured milk into it. They took it too so I didn’t know what they had in mind. They told me they were playing with me. I took the mixture not knowing that they had mixed something with it. After some time, I realised that I had become weak to resist anything. They had their way. I was defiled that day. At least, when I came to full knowledge of myself that was what I noticed.
“After that occurrence, I couldn’t tell my mum. I was afraid because I felt she would make it public as she always worried about me. I kept the issue to myself. I didn’t want to be a subject of ridicule. I kept the sisters’ at arm’s length and restricted myself from their room and tried not make them come to ours whenever my mother was not around.’’
The student stated that despite trying to avoid them, he still fell to their trap twice before the act stopped.
He said, “They asked me if I told my mum what happened among us and that they wanted me to tell her. I knew that they were aware of the disciplinarian my mum is but was making a mockery of me. They told me that we would still engage in the act. I was scared each time they said so but helpless and tried to avoid them. The abuse started between 2015 and 2016. It stopped after the third time. I took steps not to allow them violate me sexually again. I intentionally stayed back at the school till 7pm just to avoid them. I only returned home when I was sure that my mum would have either returned home or close to the house from her workplace. That way, I was able to overcome them.’’
Asked why he didn’t confide in anyone, Tobiloba noted that since he didn’t tell his mum, it was hard to tell anyone else until some years later after the incident.
He added that he met someone who acted like a brother to him after he completed secondary school education who offered him help psychologically.
He stated, “The effect the situation had on me was early exposure to sex. I was curious and started surfing the internet for sex-related activities. Also, I started having some pains which was later diagnosed as an infection.
“I had to start treating infections while learning to control my sexual urge because my libido became high. I have accessed information that I wasn’t meant to have at an early stage of my life and it had some effects on me till now.’’
