THE NATION
Sharon Ifeoma Asika-Anene is a holistic sex therapist from Delta State Nigeria. With many years of experience and practice, she is constantly working to break the stereotypes about sex and sexology. A dauntless face in this reserved space, Sharon Anene, popularly called Shazzling, reveals her professional side in this explosive interview with TUNRAYO ILESANMI.
HAT does your job entail as a sex therapist?
My job as a sex therapist is a very interesting and exciting one. I am a psychologist who is trained in sexual health and sexual problems. I help my clients deal with any mental, emotional or physical issue that disrupts their sexual lives. I work with everybody — males, females, children and adults. I am sure you are wondering about kids and sex. I personally believe that once a child can identify his or her body parts, we need to start educating them about the private parts. This is where my job comes in as an educator.
As a holistic sex therapist, I am concerned about your general well being, especially in the sexual areas. I also help people who have sexual trauma and those molested, assaulted or raped. So, we are not only about the enjoyment part even though that is not left out. I teach and coach ways to enjoy sex better with yourself and your partner and also the safe practices that must be upheld during sexual intimacy.
I also produce safe, natural and healthy foods to help everybody boost their sexual life. That is why I said my job is interesting and exciting. There is still a whole lot I have not even said. This is just a tip of the iceberg.
How is your line of work perceived by the public?
To be fair, we’ve moved and grown from the era where it was completely a taboo to mention the word sex in public to slowly being bold about it. I used the word slowly because there is still room for more progress. I would say slowly because we are accepting there is a field right there. However, we still have the backward thinkers who think being a sexologist is a shameful job. They sometimes relate it to prostitution. I know they’ll come around.
In fact, there are so many of us right now in Nigeria. One of us is hosting here in Lagos the first ever sex conference. So you see people are working to change the notion. There are events and sex education parties all over history. All over the world, we have men and women putting in effort, lending their voice to change that stigma.
Again we are professionals. Do you know about the school work? It is not a joke! People have masters, PhD, degrees, certificates, long hours of study. We don’t deserve the disrespect. However, like I said, we are all working. I am working and I am lending my voice. This is all going to change very soon, and I know someday, millions of people will say Sharon Anere inspired me to become a sexologist, because it is a noble profession and a sweet one at that.
What led you to specialise in sex therapy?
Hmm! I woke up one day and just felt it was where I really need to be right now. I’ve always been interested in the idea of sex.
What is your clientele base like, how many clients do you have or have you worked with?
My clientele base is a very interesting one. I am for everybody but I belong to nobody. I do not segregate. If you have a problem and you need therapy, I would love to work with you, except if it’s not my area of specialization, then in that case I would refer the client without hesitating to someone who is equally as professional and capable as I am. In 2022/2023 for my Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR), I offered free Therapy in which people had an opportunity to try therapy at least just once. I had over a thousand people. People want to talk. People are suffering in silence and need therapy. They kept flowing in their large numbers.
What are the demographics of your clients? Are they corporate, young adults, couples or professionals?
I have worked and still work with, but not limited to young adults, older people, couples, teenagers, kids of all genders. Basically you can see I am for all age groups. Now you understand what I said at the beginning, I am for everybody. I also work with professionals in all fields too. I am not limited. Doctors, lawyers, engineers, and so on. I also work with public figures, celebrities, politicians and uniform men and women. Please just come, don’t worry about who you are. If you need therapy, send an email or call. That’s the first step.
Do you have religious leaders or clergies/clerics among your clients, considering that they also have marital issues that are ignited by sexual problems?
Oh Yes! I do. Presently, I am working with a religious leader and this makes it more interesting as you asked. I am happy people can now differentiate between the job of a therapist and a religious leader. They are not the same at all. Therapy should come from a certified professional same as counseling. The good thing is with professionalism and rules in my field, people are able to tell that the therapy sessions are extremely confidential. You don’t have to worry about another person hearing what you have said to your therapist. So I am a therapist not a town crier. It has helped me work with every type of person and this I deeply appreciate. Remember too, everyone faces issues in their single and marital life. These issues don’t select if you are a religious leader or not. They just exist till you heal and go through that phase. It’s only therapy that helps you heal and not suppress them.
What percentage of religious leaders form your clientele base?
Right now the percentage of religious leaders is still growing. Just 1% and I can understand why but give me some time, I will change that. Soon everyone of them will at least try therapy once and get to see the beauty in it. There is no shame or judgment in therapy so we should all be ambassadors. Speak about it, embrace and wholeheartedly welcome the idea.
What is the most bizarre case or client you have ever handled?
I don’t like to call any case bizarre to be very honest with you. I respect people a lot and the fact that they even think of me as the therapist to help them through that bizarre situation is something to applaud them for. There is no case that is more challenging than the other to me. I kind of see all of them as the same even if they aren’t. Whether it be a rape /sexual assault case, low libido or erectile dysfunction issue and so on. Any pyschosexual dysfunction, extreme sexual fetishism or any other kind of issue is in the same category for me. Each one comes with its own interest and helps me become a better therapist. It helps me grow in my Industry. But to be fair to you, I get you, so just know I’ve heard it all. Let you imaginations run wild, and I bet I have heard that already.
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